Remember your fear 

When you don’t, it’ll bite you
and rend your failure

by John Phillip Allen

Shouting desperately
Dying to be heard and yet
Everyone passes by

It isn’t your fault.
Here we are, underwater
And I can’t breathe right

Longest Week (plus half again),

Could we have a chat?
I need you to cool out, because
my brain may fall out.

Sincerely,

Alex

We (not me) used to
hammer things, and skin rabbits

Now we update blogs

I’m writing a line
about a blog I neglect.

Which does inspire…

Working on structure
To filter thoughts from out louds
And breathe cautious breath

I used to think that
It was communication
Now I know it’s me

Like its burdensome meals and loathsome treats,
December also fills its gullet with the gold from my coffers
And feasts to blind end, as I shovel my ends to feed its insatiable appetite

Then January rolls along, my discretions catch up
And the echo of my empty vault is long and deafening

Please go rot, you small,
miserable mirror of
your own short-comings.

#stupidhashtagmeansnothing
#yetanotherstupidtag

Straddling right/wrought
Like a flood climbs a levy
We drown in our dread 

Or better put:

Can’t talk, gotta eat

The weight and pursuit
of diligence; watching eyes
perusing your feed

Feels like I’m always crashing
through thick, vitriolic glass

When the world fogs up,
even being overwhelmed
reeks of privilege

I want to be happy for the people in my life who have success
I want to want the best for them
I want to stop comparing myself to them
I want my timeline to be separate from theirs

But I can’t, so I’m tragically disappointed.

Here’s a haiku:

Roses, violets
Smell nice, but who gives a shit
I’m still nobody.

Three years since returned
And the sky has yet felled, razed
But life has surely changed

And fall is falling on us
And life is once again, good

The awkwardness of
mid and high school breathes hot breath
Funny with distance

When your heart’s on ten
And the food that you shovel
has little effect

You swim, caffeine misery
Overloaded, in despair

Like fire on water
like ‘burg which sits, monster ‘neath
feelings swallow up

To fill and empty
thoughtfully, through bring and take
we build our new life

It’s so noisey here. 

Rows of speakers line my head
and hum fuzzy truths/2

Sometimes it’s important
To have your peace heard

But sometimes, like fire
Your peace turns lone flame to flames;
And burns it all down

And a lesson late learned
Leaves you lost for words

Thirty-two years of
marriage. Here’s to thirty-two
more. Whoa. Love yous loads.

Like a lost limb, the sensation lulls into dark corners, only to be knocked free
A memory which dances with loneliness and fear

It hurts worse because
it hurts at all, a phantom
of the pain it was

Sometimes it’s so loud that you could only ever be outside of it
Sometimes it’s so soft that you could only ever feel it

Behold, the chiming
of bells, which ring like sadness,
like a time-machine,

like tintinnabulation
from a thousand tiny fears

Life isn’t just mine
I share it with everyone
Despite checkered pasts

And narcissism can rear
it’s ugly head whenever

Maybe it is, maybe
But why now and them and you
And does it matter

It’s a trap where falling in
Is also falling out

Days off never feelgood.

They’re always stuffed with self-indulgence

also,

self-loathing

Sam reminded me
of who the boss really is.
“So THAT’S where it’s from.”

ALSO

Why, oh why did I
sit and click while they tock and
tick me off? I’m dead.

And this ticking reminds me
of the ever vigilant fill

OR

In and out she goes
It’s fun while it lasts, and then
your insides come loose.

Sitting in the car
How long is she going to
be in th… oh. hi.

A turn and turning
Plus it’s adding and also
Here, right here we are

Soft wind and winding
Clocks and then there’s wrist watches
There, right there we go

Live and living and live
Like your address, and address
Get square, and measure

Dust the dust, so sew
Command your command, also
End is oft at end

A week of work turns
out to be harder than it
looks – it’s been a go.